(Fire and ice.)
Comments
Wait, so Magneto has managed to rebuild Asteroid M as well? Where does he find the time? He could have built a major city on Mars by now, if he hadn't been so keen on punching the X-Men at every opportunity. Mutants could be living in harmony atop Olympus Mons, if he'd had any foresight. Idiot.
Apparently, whatever ridiculous scheme he's cooked up this week requires stealing expensive military tech from that noted bastion of cutting edge weaponry and electronics, Australia. I suppose it's a bit closer to the Antarctic base, at least, though I can't help thinking that if travel time is an issue, building bases in space is probably quite counter-productive.
Whilst Magneto builds/rebuilds his empire, the X-Men have been stuck with Nanny for the last few days, which given their current state raises more than one question I'd rather not have to consider. But fear not, for Storm has a plan - using her comparatively advanced dexterity, she's able to grab a lock-pick from her headdress, and then try to escape her bonds whilst holding the tool in her teeth. I'm not sure why she had the "dexterity of a small child" when she was six months old - she might have learned to open safes with her feet when she was a precocious tween (seriously, they show her doing that), but I don't see how it can be applied retrospectively.
In any event, she drops the lockpick, and it looks like it's game over. Fortunately, when Magneto returns to Antarctica to check out a security breach, we learn that she simply grabbed another lock-pick and got back to work. You go, girl! Storm continues her run of being the most useful new X-Person so far, even if she only gets two lines an issue, one of which will always be about claustrophobia and/or goddesses. Not even Nightcrawler's new manoeuvre of being swung around by his tail so he can be hurled into a teleport measures up, though I supposed he should be given points for endurance given how painful it looks.
The X-Men jump Magneto when he arrives, and for a few pages it looks like they're going to come out on top, but they've failed to heal that old saying: "People who live in houses surrounded by lava shouldn't smash shit up." One measly exploding geyser of molten rock later, and things don't look so rosy anymore. Magneto beats a hurried retreat, too badly injured to be a threat for a little while, but that doesn't really seem relevant, because it looks like the team have been swept away to their agonising deaths. Only Phoenix has the power to escape, dragging Beast along with her, but all that grants them is the opportunity to freeze to death in the Antarctic wastelands instead.
Eastenders drum-roll!
Oh, just for the record: this issue was released fifteen years to the day after UXM #1.
Clues
Storm mentions that she's been watching Nanny's routine for "a few days" to figure out timings, which suggests the X-Men's escape is about three days after their arrival. The subsequent battle and volcanic eruption take place soon after.
Date
Saturday 13th of March, 1982.
X-Date
X+3Y+347.
Compression Constant
1 Marvel year = 3.80 standard years.
(Storm is 34 years old.)
 |
| "Magneto made a fatal mistake with me." |
The UK announces its plans to purchase Trident 2 ICBMs from the US government.
Standout Line
"I'm sweating like a pig. Is this part of their plan?!" Magneto proves either desperately paranoid or unsettlingly optimistic.
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