Monday, 7 November 2011

UXM #130: "Dazzler"

(Last days of disco.)


Having seen the terrible hash one half of the X-Men made of inducting Kitty Pryde into their ranks, this is our chance to watch the second team search for a mutant of their own.  Rather than hanging out in a squeaky-clean Chicago suburb, though, Scott, Jean and Kurt have been led to the skankiest of skanky disco halls ("Is this where old discos come to die?").  Scott suggests that Jean scan the minds of those around them, but to no-one's surprise, no-one willing to debase themselves at such a filthy dive has much on their minds (other than Jean's dress being tacky, but that seems fair enough).

Meanwhile, the White Queen has processed her prisoner, by which I mean she's stripped them to their underwear and stuck them in giant bird cages, like she's in a late-night version of West's Batman.  Kitty manages to sneak up for long enough to get a phone number from Ororo (who kept it inside her lingerie, for reasons best left unexplored) , but then gets busted.  She uses her phasing power to jump through the floor, which leads to Frost - never too quick on the uptake, bless her - to demand the base be sealed off.  Presumably if it had been Dracula, she would have insisted upon switching off all the lights.

Back at the dancehall, and Jean once more runs into Jason Wyngarde, and this time is caught up in an illusion of their "wedding day" inside a desecrated church (presided over by none other than Sebastian Shaw), which goes so well she decides to suck a little twentieth century face right out on the dance floor, in front of an astonished Scott.  There's no time for petty recriminations, though, because at that moment Dazzler arrives on stage, and it becomes obvious that this is the mutant they came to find.

Something else has found them, however - another squad of armored Hellfire goons with power-specific weaponry.  This bunch don't last any longer than the last ones (apparently Shaw didn't learn anything from Moses Magnum about never sending in any tech the X-Men have already smashed up) and this time around Emma Frost isn't about to zap everyone's synapses like a big ol' cheater.  This half of the X-Men are still up and kicking, thanks very much, and thanks to a panicked phone call from Katherine Pryde, they're in their Rolls Royce and off to kick some arse...


This story begins at midnight on the same day the X-Men meet Kitty Pryde, and takes place in approximately real time.

At one point the narration notes that Jean Grey is not yet twenty five years old.  Since she was at least sixteen when she joined the X-Men, that means that nine years have passed since that day at the absolute outside.


Wednesday 29th to Thursday 30th of September, 1982.


X+4Y+183 to X+4Y+184.

Compression Constant

1 Marvel year = 3.65 standard years.

(Shadowcat is 22 years old).

Doing the Doctor, right?
Contemporary Events

Lacey Chabert is born.  "Stop trying to make 'fetch' happen.  It's never going to happen."  She was in the Lost in Space remake as well, but let's not hold that against her.

Standout Line

"I don't see why you two are so nervous.  This is my kind of neighbourhood: lots of shadows, and lots of things to climb on." - Nightcrawler.

No comments:

Post a Comment