(The second most troll-filled disco I've ever seen.)
Comments
"Far out!" Dazzler tells us, this time talking to her dressing room mirror to "disguise" another round of exposition. She's both excited and nervous to be the headline act at Numero Uno, having beaten the Enchantress - "one weird mama", or so it says here - at the audition last issue. She's also worried that her ludicrous face-paint might be a mistake too (and yakking away about things she's already entirely aware of probably isn't helping her apply it), but I'm sure that's just stage-fright talking. How could the liberal application of blue paint to the face possibly go wrong?
(In fairness, she does have much better hair. By which I mean - hair.)
Probably a fair amount of her panic is down to her audience - tonight will see appearances from the X-Men, most of the Avengers, and the two most pussy-centric members of the Fantastic Four. There's someone else watching, of course: the Enchantress, determined to gain her revenge and bend the upcoming dimensional rift to her own purposes. The sorceress must tread carefully, however, as unleashing too much magic will destablise the "cosmic matrix" holding open the rift. Why, it's almost as though this is a really stupid time to mount an attack! If only there'd been any other time to strike.
Still, better late than never, I suppose. The Enchantress steps out on the stage and works some Asgardian mojo, causing Dazzler to begin to age at a terrifying rate. Fortunately, Allison is able to stun her opponent by focussing her light-show through the dance hall's giant disco-ball - disco-balls being renowned for how they concentrate light, as we all learned in physics - reversing the spell and giving the dozen or so heroes in the club time to change into costume.
The Enchantress responds by summoning a horde of trolls and jotunn (wouldn't you start with that?) to murder everyone in spandex within a fifty-foot radius, and your typical Marvel throw-down kicks off. In truth, as cynical as this gathering of Marvel heavy-hitters feels (especially two issues into the series), there's something undeniably exciting about seeing them work together as a team. It beats the crap out of Secret Invasion, certainly.
Whilst our heroes fight against a seemingly endless mob of special guest stars from Midgard Crimestoppers ("Thou couldst receive a Community Action Trust Reward, indeed!"), Dazzler confronts the Enchantress. "I want you, mama!". It's too late, however; the rift is open, and something truly gargantuan is forcing its way through. This results in what is easily the best moment in the comic (or the one before), as Dazzler sucks away every sound in the entire disco, and turns it into an unbearably bright and utterly silent explosion of light. If this were film instead of strip, there'd be plenty of slow-motion and white-out going on, and the thought of acts of such power happening in total silence is a really cool one.
The Enchantress slinks off defeated, but Dazzler's victory seems pretty phyrric considering the state of the venue. Fortunately, however, there was one talent scout who failed to escape before the battle heated up, and his first act following his ludicrously unlikely survival is to offer Dazzler a meeting with a potential agent, Harry Osgood. Come Monday morning, her extensive fanbase of superheroes give her a lift to her appointment. Not that she's made an appointment, obviously, because she's an idiot, but hanging out with the Avengers apparently works almost as well. Especially when they smash their way through Osgood's window and demand he listen to her sing (Iron Man even provides the music, which I suppose is an ability that can come in handy during strip-club power-cuts).
So it's a happy ending at last, as Osgood agrees to sign Allison up. Given her last manager turned out to be a mobster, though, no-one should be breaking out the champagne just yet.
Clues
Much of story takes place on a Friday night, with a Monday morning coda. That places it between UXM #142 and #143.
Date
Friday 5th to Monday 8th of November, 1982.
X-Date
X+4Y+220 to X+4Y+223.
Contemporary Events
Ahmadou Ahidjo resigns as President of Camerun, citing health reasons.
A group of bishops call for a freeze of nuclear armaments in Catholic Herald Magazine.
Standout Line
"Though I strain with Herculean effort... 'tis hopeless!" - Enchantress. I doubt DeFalco was thinking this at the time, but I love the idea that the Enchantress would make references to entirely different pantheons to the one she's a part of, presumably because she thinks their all dicks.
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