Tuesday, 6 December 2011

UXM #151: "X-Men Minus One!"

(The transfer.)


Terrible news is relayed to all fans of Kitty Pryde (and I still don't understand how such creatures can exist): her parents are pulling her out of Xavier's school and sending her to Emma Frost's Massachusetts Academy instead.  Kitty's so depressed that she throws off her gown and starts running through the mansion in a bikini, which I think is a literary allusion for misery first employed by John Steinbeck.

A few hours later, Storm heads to Kitty's room to try and calm the girl down.  Clearly, she's still upset, as demonstrated by the fact that she still hasn't put any clothes on, but Ororo at least gets something of a conversation out of her.  Kitty's complaints range from the perceptive (her parents' sudden obsession with boarding schools is probably at least influenced by the desire to sort out their terms of separation without Kitty in the way) to the understandable from her point of view (why do her parent's believe they're better off judging the school Kitty should be in than she is herself) to the disgracefully solipsistic (why don't her parents just stay together so she can have a stable family unit). Storm does an impressive job of consoling Kitty over those issues that the teenager is facing, and sternly brushing aside those that she's simply made up.  It's a very nice scene, and whilst it doesn't do anything to change my mind on Kitty, it's always nice to see this side of Storm, nurturing without compromising or patronising.

After Xavier checks the Prydes aren't being mentally manipulated by the White Queen (who the X-Men believe is dead, but have learned through bitter experience what happens when you assume), and following Kitty is given a few days to pack and say her goodbyes (including what might well be her first kiss with Peter), the miserable teen is driven from the mansion by an equally upset (though rather more comported) Ororo.  Sprite pronounces herself disgusted with her new school pretty much on arrival, seething with dislike over how it all looks lovely and beautiful and calm.  You'd almost think she'd decided to hate the place ahead of time.

Turns out she was right about one thing, though - Emma Frost is back in charge, and that means trouble.  The White Queen ambushes Storm just after Kitty leaves for her tour, and uses her psionic talents to swap the two women's minds.  "Storm" fakes a touching farewell with Kitty before driving off to test her new powers, whilst "Emma" is locked inside a dark cell somewhere on the grounds.  Also: put into a slutty dress whilst unconscious.  That White Queen has more issues than Forbidden Planet International.

Let us move from such scenes of insanity and debauchery, and pause by a moonlit lake, where Nightcrawler is getting it on with his foster sister.  Their strokey-times are rudely interrupted by a phalanx of Sentinels (mutants might not be the only deviants they're programmed to exterminate, if you get what I'm saying), and the X-Men take to the field.

Something is amiss, though, as Cyclops points out.  There shouldn't be any Sentinels anymore, after our heroes dealt with Steven Lang aboard his space station. Fortunately, we don't have to wait long for the truth (i.e. the page before): it's Sebastian Shaw at the joystick! (Or a bevy of his flunkies, anyway).  Apparently, he's hoping to KO the team before Emmastorm has a chance to enact her own plan.  Unfortunately for him, the X-Men are too good, all but destroying the Sentinel force.  Emmastorm arrives just in time to zap the last remaining robot, and then chain lightnings her grateful "teammates" the instant they let down their guard.

Meanwhile, back in Emma Frost's body, Storm has managed to pick the lock on her cell door.  The instant she escapes, though, she's bombarded by the thoughts of everyone around her.  Being a filthy-rich telepathic beeyotch isn't as easy as it looks, apparently.  Stormemma gets herself under control for long enough to make a dash for Kitty's room, but the sudden appearance of what looks like the White Queen at her door spooks Sprite so much she tries to dive through the floor.  Instinctively Stormemma tries to stop her with a psychic bolt, and the force of the blow either knocks Kitty unconscious, or kills her outright.

Dun dun DUUUUUR!


This issue takes place within a week.  Since it concludes on the Monday on which Kitty arrives at the Massachusetts Academy, we'll assume that it begins on the previous Tuesday, though really it makes little difference for our purposes.

Kitty notes that during her time with the X-Men she has battled aliens on other planets, therefore placing this issue after UXM Annual #3.


Tuesday 16th to Monday 22nd of March, 1983.


X+4Y+350 to X+4Y+356.

Compression Constant

1 Marvel year = 3.65 standard years.

(Shadowcat is 22 years old).

Alice in Alice in Wonderland
Contemporary Events

Umberto II, the "May king", passes away, aged 78.  Umberto II was the last king of Italy, and held the throne for just one month before stepping down following the referendum in which Italian citizens voted to become a Republic. Exiled from his native land, Umberto II spent most of his life in Portugal, and died without ever again setting foot upon Italian soil.

Standout Line

"Life is very lonely, Kitty." - Storm

No comments:

Post a Comment