XHY #9: "Dark Destiny"

(False astro-tising)

Comments

Right.  "Thanks" to the money-sucking wonder that is Ebay, I've managed to sentence myself to four more issues of hard labour in John Bryne's mediocrity mines.  Will this title seem any better when I'm not directly comparing it to X-Men: First Class?  Read on to find out, my friends.  I see no reason why I should have to suffer alone.

Last time on XHY, the team were divided.  Angel was the comatose captive of at trawler crew somewhere off Antarctica, and Havok and "Magnetrix" were searching for Iceman, lost somewhere in the Savage Land.  Meanwhile, Cyclops, Beast and Marvel Girl had joined forces with the Fantastic Four (which at the time had swapped out Invisible Woman for Crystal, the Inhuman) and headed into space to deal with the retreating Z'Nox world-ship.  Quite what they intend to do specifically is unclear, since I don't see an endgame that wouldn't result in either our team being slaughtered, or the genocide of an entire race.

In any case, the initial skirmish with Z'Nox fighters seemed to be going pretty well, only for Jean Grey to erupt into flames.  Apparently the Phoenix Force has arrived a little early...

The resulting psychic disturbance is strong enough for Sue Richards to feel back on Earth.  Well, that or her concern is a cheap way to build tension. I leave you to decide.  HINT: the narration describes Jean's transformation as the stuff of nightmares.

Aboard her husband's reverse-engineered Skrull vessel, the Phoenix Force has apparently taken Jean over completely, and she selects Mr Fantastic and her first victim.  Cyclops halfheartedly blasts his girlfriend as a distraction, and immediately finds himself top of the list for a vicious dose of killin'. Scott goes down like a bitch, burnt to a crisp, and Beast is likewise fried moments later.  Gosh, this really is like a nightmare, isn't it?  But presumably it's clearly real.

Except it's not!  It's not real!  Reed is OK, Scott and Hank are alive, and last issue's cliffhanger was total bullshit.  Time for another of SpaceSquid's rules of fiction: "It was all a dream" is overused as a beginning, and insulting as an ending.  As a cliffhanger resolution, it's an authorial cry for help, and the only way to answer that call is through a vicious session of crotch-punching by a T-1000 coated in sandpaper and shards of glass.

(Even all of that wouldn't be quite so bad were the front cover and the title of the issue both strong indications that the Phoenix would be a major part of the story one way or another.  Calling this issue "Dark Destiny" is like renaming Star Wars "The Adventures of Captain Antilles".)

Meanwhile, the sheer number of Z'Nox are beginning to turn the tide (it's almost as though sending eight superheroes in against a planet isn't the best of ideas).  It's time for action!  No, wait.  It's time for an exposition flashback!  Jean runs a mental slide-show of all that crap we know.  Thank God it only took "one searing instant".  Or one shitty page, to be more precise.  Following our latest encounter with Bryne's defiantly uninspiring recap skills, Beast returns to the ship to point out the obvious - the entire Z'Nox armada are outside, and it's going to take more than two guys punching them to hold them off, even if they are being supported by a flame-caster whose usefulness is directly proportional to his access to oxygen.

Reed accepts the critique, conceding that their current tactics aren't getting the job done.  Eager to shake things up, Mr Fantastic settles on a new strategy: plunging into the planet's atmosphere to burn up in minutes!  It suppose I can hardly argue that it doesn't at least have the element of surprise going for it. Moments later, though, we learn he's not trying to burn the spacecraft down to its component elements after all.  He wants to ram his way into a Z'Nox building instead.  Obviously.

Actually, objectively that's probably cooler than my brain is willing to concede right now.  I guess I just don't have any goodwill left.  That said, how did Reed know which building to ram?  This place could be a sewage plant.  Or a creche.

(I'm just being facetious here.  Clearly Reed used Science.  All hail Science!)

Mr Fantastic's ram-raid has put our heroes right in the path of a giant Z'Nox monster, but also within range of the machine the Z'Nox use to move their planet.  Reed begins tinkering with the apparatus whilst the rest of the team take out its guardian.  Things get a bit hairy when the vital systems prove to be so far inside the planet that only the Thing can stand the pressure to get to them, but Reed talks Ben through the final tinkerings, and the plan comes together.  There's just time for our heroes to get back into their (curiously undamaged) ship and blast back into space before the entire Z'Nox planet is sucked into the Negative Zone.

Which is a solution, at least.  Mr Fantastic seems convinced there will be sufficient energy to keep the planet alive, which answers my earlier query about what exactly they planned to actually do against the aliens.  Of course, that just shifts the question to what the X-Men thought they were going to do against the aliens, since Reed refused to fill them in on the plan (indeed, there's no indication he'd even come up with it until they were in orbit).  Still, as endings go, it's perfectly serviceable.

Unless it turns out to be a dream, obviously.

Meanwhile, on Earth:

• A young boy girl plays with dolls in the back yard, only to be threatened by a Sentinel;
• Angel's girlfriend Candy Southern has muscled her way into Xavier's mansion, and been escorted by his robot butler to the man himself.  She has a message for Angel, something connected with Hamlet, possibly the only play Bryne could think of that takes longer than this comic to get to the point;
• Iceman is still the house-guest of Karl Lykos in his done-up Nazi research station, and still completely unable to remember who he is, or why he thought those briefs were a good idea.

Clues

This story continues on directly from XHY #8, and takes place in approximately real time.

Date

Monday 7^th July, 1980.

X-Date

X+2Y+95.

Contemporary Events

83 people are killed in the Safra Massacre during the war in Lebanon.

Standout Line

"It's as if all her natural inhibitions have been stripped away!" - Cyclops

I'm glad I got a chance to bring this up, because it's been bugging me ever since Red Dwarf 4 and "Polymorph".  It never made the slightest sense to me that Lister sans fear would threaten to beat Kryten up, because the only logical takeaway from that is that it was only Lister's fear of... something... that stopped him popping his best friend in his oddly-angular jaw.

It's the same here.  Exactly which inhibition did Jean once harbour that was preventing her from killing Mr Fantastic?  Fear?  Laziness?  A dislike of having to wash out bloodstains?  Still, I guess at least here we can just put it down to Cyclops being an idiot.  That's rarely a bad policy in any case.

DAZ #11: "...Lest Ye Be Judged!"

(I guess those kangaroos aren't so bad after all.)
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Comments

Now that Dazzler has implausibly managed to survive her trip inside a black hole, she finds she has a new problem.  Galactus has charged her - as well as with massive levels of power - with forcing his errant herald Terrax back to the fold, but Terrax isn't particularly thrilled with the idea.  More worryingly, he intends to make his stance completely clear by massacring Dazzler with a giant axe.  Outside the event horizon, the R-II drone watches the resulting battle on the monitor.  Nothing can escape a black hole except Terrax and a TV signal, apparently, except for Dazzler - so long as she's tied to a spaceship, obviously.  Gods, but all of this is painfully stupid.

Anyway, "The Tamer" still has enough juice from his time as Galactus' Herald to be essentially invulnerable to Dazzler's attacks, and the only reason he doesn't kill her straight away is that he thinks she'll make a fitting queen when he leaves the black hole and heads for a new dimension in which to carve out his next empire

Realising the mission is in danger of coming to an abrupt, axe-heavy end, R-II goes to Galactus for help.  The Destroyer of Worlds rebuffs his serf, however.  Indeed, not only will he not help, he's taking his ship elsewhere, meaning Alison is boned even if she somehow defeats Terrax.  As the spacecraft departs, however, someone (and I think we all know who) activates the mega sound system that supercharged Dazzler last issue, and begins beaming the resulting noise backward into the black hole.  The resulting jolt to Daz's powers, combined with Terrax's exhaustion from trying to stay alive within a singularity, quickly hands her victory.

She's tempted to end things there, to leave Terrax to his fate and climb the beam of sound (ARRRRGH!) back to Galactus' ship.  Fortunately, the pillar of sound (ARRRRGH! ARRRRGH!) is strong enough for her to drag Terrax up with her.

Galactus is none to pleased to learn his drone has acted on its own initiative, but R-II points out that Galactus had left on the devices keeping Dazzler alive in the black hole, which implied he isn't totally indifferent to Alison's fate.  I'm not sure that's quite the right line, here.  The right line is that leaving Dazzler unaided but keeping the machines running is just a pointless waste of power, meaning R-II should have either saved her, or killed her.  The drone took the option that meant the mission wasn't automatically a failure, and which also meant not murdering someone - Galactus can take his pick over which of those arguments he finds more compelling.

This then leads into a brief but pretty interesting summation of Galactus' mental state.  It's not that he has no emotions, so much as he's forced to repress them all, Vulcan-style, otherwise he'd never be able to do what he has to in order to stay alive.  Which makes sense, in a rather brutal way; there's only so many sentient species one can wipe out before you stop caring or you throw yourself into a black hole (which used to be fatal, if you recall).  What that means in practice, though, seems to be that Galactus will take any excuse to take the compassionate route under the disguise of logic.  He allows R-II to continue sending energy to Dazzler.  Moments later, Alison and Terrax burst from the singularity.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, the disappearance of Alison Blaire is causing multiple problems.  Judge Carter Blaire, her estranged father, has discovered his mother has lost contact with his daughter, and concluded that it's time for a reconciliation, now that no bugger actually knows where she is.  Doctor Paul Sexytimes is headed to Daz's place too, determined to sit outside her apartment until she arrives to dump him properly (dude - have you no self-respect?)  Finally, Alison's band mates and her management are headed over to see what's what, having lamentably learned that she was clearly the only person in the entire outfit with any actual talent.

Dazzler awakes back onboard Galactus' vessel, having been healed by R-II, so that she can attend the trial of Terrax, where "trial" in this case means "Galactus stares at you for a while and then does whatever the fuck he wants."  Rather wonderfully, the lessons taught to Alison by her father kick in, and she decides this show trial is entirely not on.  Entirely without suger-coating, she points out that Galactus knew Terrax was a turd when he hired him, and also that whilst there is no small number of people who could condemn Terrax for enslaving entire worlds, the guy who consumes whole planetary systems doesn't get to claim to be one of them.  I really hadn't been too impressed by this rather shapeless and generic cosmic jaunt up to this point, but a brief burst of "Sexy Mutant Lawyer" has gone a long way to improving things.  Galactus even agrees to give Terrax a second chance, though as the narration points out, that may have been his plan in any case.  Heralds must be a bitch to find.

A few minutes later, and Dazzler is back home, returned by Galactus to stop her annoying him.  Unfortunately, the trip leaves her befuddled and nearly unconscious, and coincides precisely with her building's super letting Carter Blaire, Dr Hotbuns, and 90% of her work colleagues in through her door.  Given her current state, and her week-long disappearance, the unanimous verdict is "rock-star drugs binge", and the men leave, either disgusted (Carter), angry but concerned (the band, Harry and Lance) or plain old confused (Dr Firmpex).

'Lison!  You got some 'splain' to do!

Clues

This story takes place over the course of several hours.  There's no way to tell how long Dazzler was being tended to in R-II's healing chair, so we'll assume the action has spilled over into the following day.

Date

Thursday 19^th to Friday 20^th of January, 1983.

X-Date

 X+4Y+284 to X+4Y+285.

Contemporary Events

David F. Lawler, not yet fifteen, enters his school in Missouri carrying two handguns, filled with ammunition he received as a Christmas present, and shoots two fellow pupils (killing one) before committing suicide.
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Standout Line
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"Hey -- take it easy, Pops.  Be mellow."
"'Be mellow'!  That's all you musicians do, isn't it, with all the drugs you take!" -  Beefer and Carter.

It's interesting that in the 1980s there was a comic which, whilst not being pro-drugs, was willing to paint someone who is anti-drugs as a hysterical douchewad.

Timeline: 1983 (Take 3)

January

6^th      DAZ 6: The Hulk can be Hazardous to Your Health!
7^th      DAZ 6: The Hulk can be Hazardous to Your Health!
8^th      DAZ 6: The Hulk can be Hazardous to Your Health!
8^th      DAZ 7: Fort Apache, the Hulk!
9^th      DAZ 7: Fort Apache, the Hulk!
11^th    DAZ 8: Hell... Hell is for Harry!
12^th    DAZ 8: Hell... Hell is for Harry!
12^th    DAZ 9: The Sound and the Fury!
13^th    DAZ 9: The Sound and the Fury!
14^th    DAZ 9: The Sound and the Fury!
15^th    DAZ 9: The Sound and the Fury!
16^th    DAZ 9: The Sound and the Fury!
17^th    DAZ 9: The Sound and the Fury!
18^th    DAZ 9: The Sound and the Fury!
19^th    DAZ 9: The Sound and the Fury!
19^th    DAZ 10: In the Darkness... a Light!

February

4^th   UXM 144: Even in Death...
5^th   UXM 144: Even in Death...
28^th UXM 145: Kidnapped!
28^th UXM 146: Murderworld!

March

1^st       UXM 145: Kidnapped!
1^st        UXM 146: Murderworld!
1^st        UXM 147: Rogue Storm!
2^nd     UXM 148: Cry, Mutant!
3^rd      UXM 148: Cry, Mutant!
4^th      UXM 148: Cry, Mutant!
5^th      UXM 148: Cry, Mutant!
6^th      UXM 148: Cry, Mutant!
8^th      UXM 149: And the Dead Shall Bury the Living!
8^th      UXM 150: I, Magneto!
9^th      WOL #1: Wolverine
10^th    WOL #1: Wolverine
11^th    WOL #1: Wolverine
12^th    WOL #1: Wolverine
13^th    WOL #2: Debts and Obligations
20^th    WOL #3: Loss
23^rd    WOL #4: Honor

April

7^th   UXM Annual 5: Ou, La La -- Badoon!
8^th   UXM 151: X-Men Minus One!
9^th   UXM 151: X-Men Minus One!
10^th UXM 151: X-Men Minus One!
11^th UXM 151: X-Men Minus One!
11^th UXM 152: The Hellfire Gambit!
12^th UXM 152: The Hellfire Gambit!
13^th UXM 153: Kitty's Fairy Tale
26^th UXM 154: Reunion
27^th UXM 155: First Blood
27^th UXM 156: Pursuit!
28^th UXM 156: Pursuit!
28^th UXM 157: Hide-'N'-Seek!

May

3^rd   UXM 158: The Life That Late I Led...
7^th  UXM 159: Night Screams!
8^th   UXM 159: Night Screams!
9^th   UXM 159: Night Screams!
10^th UXM 159: Night Screams!
11^th UXM 160: Chutes and Ladders!
13^th UXM Annual 6: Blood Feud!
14^th UXM Annual 6: Blood Feud!
15^th UXM 161: Gold Rush!
16^th UXM 161: Gold Rush!

June

6^th   UXM 162: Beyond the Farthest Star
7^th   UXM 162: Beyond the Farthest Star
8^th   UXM 163: Rescue Mission!
8^th   UXM 164: Binary Star!
9^th   UXM 164: Binary Star!
9^th   UXM 164:Transfigurations!
10^th UXM 164: Transfigurations!
12^th MGN 4: Renewal
13^th MGN 4: Renewal
14^th MGN 4: Renewal
15^th MGN 4: Renewal
16^th MGN 4: Renewal
17^th MGN 4: Renewal
18^th MGN 4: Renewal
19^th MGN 4: Renewal
20^th MGN 4: Renewal
21^st MGN 4: Renewal
22^nd MGN 4: Renewal
23^rd MGN 4: Renewal
24^th MGN 4: Renewal
25^th MGN 4: Renewal
26^th MGN 4: Renewal
27^th MGN 4: Renewal
28^th MGN 4: Renewal
29^th MGN 4: Renewal
30^th MGN 4: Renewal

July

1^st   MGN 4: Renewal
2^nd  MGN 4: Renewal
3^rd  MGN 4: Renewal
4^th  MGN 4: Renewal
5^th  MGN 4: Renewal

UXM #165: "Transfigurations!"

(The Jonah Variation.)

Comments

When last we left our heroic space-faring mutants, Binary had just sworn to avenge their imminent deaths by accidentally killing them all.  Fortunately, by using Colossus as a temporary plug and having Kurt bamf Lilandra to the control room and start pouring in more air, Cyclops and Wolverine have time enough to carve out an internal hull piece large enough to cover the hole.  There is little in the way of celebration over another bullet dodged - freezing in hard vacuum might well be preferable to letting what's growing within them reach the point where it wants out.

Certainly, Storm thinks so, as she drifts in her stolen shuttle.  Just one problem: even in self-defence, or to save others, Ororo's isn't sure she can bring herself to take a life - a position that lasts right up until the minute that the transformation begins (funny how that works).  Fortunately, just then the shuttle drifts out of the nebula containing the Z'Ree Shar and into range of the galactic core.  To which I can only say: holy lizard-balls, Claremont.  If you're not going to take into account the unimaginable size and emptiness of the celestial realm, then what the hell do you think you're doing having your characters pissing around up there?  Storm just happened to stop at the edge of the nebula, which just happened to be right by the galactic core.  Which just happens to be the only known method of temporarily reversing a Brood transformation. Fuck, as the kids say, off.

Grrr.

Anyway, Ororo decides that murdering another sentient isn't so bad an idea after all, and grabs all the galactic energy from nearby that she can (apparently, this is the space equivalent to controlling the weather - I'm too tired of this crap to care anymore), hoping it will kill the Brood embryo.  Which it does, though with the unfortunate side-effects of a) blowing up the shuttle and b) killing Storm as well.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Illyana, Stevie Hunter and Moira MacTaggert are enjoying the sunshine outside Xavier's now fully-rebuilt mansion. The two women are concerned about Charles, who's retreated into himself after the disappearance of the X-Men.  Moira has a plan, though, she's received a letter from Reed Richards regarding a newly-arrived foreign mutant, and suggests Charles might want to tutor her.  (We know about this letter already, of course, it's about Xi'an Coy Mahn, and was mentioned in MGN #4).

Xavier, to the surprise of precisely no bugger at all, is decidedly unenthusiastic about the idea.  Moira tries to goad him into accepting by threatening to take Xi'an to Magneto or Emma Frost.  That's kind of like a sex-starved husband telling his wife that unless she puts out soon he's going looking for blowjobs from puff adders, but Xavier relents, not seeing another choice.

(I can see another choice, for the record - letting Xi'an learn to use her powers by herself.  I'm sure Xavier is a great teacher, and all, but he managed to get his power under control on his own.  What makes him so sure he's so indispensible to Xi'an he can repeatedly risk her life?)

Aboard the Z'Reee Shar, repairs to the warp drive are almost complete, and the question is raised: what next?  Wolverine is all for heading straight back to the Brood hive and trying to tear the Queen to pieces.  Scott points out the mission is almost certainly suicidal, and Wolverine notes in turn that he himself is the only one on board who won't be dead in a matter of days in any case.  Scott sees the logic behind that, and agrees to the plan.

Before the repairs are complete and the frontal assault can begin, though, there's one night left for reflection, prayer, and - just possibly - the removal of clothes.  Nightcrawler chooses the first two options, which surprises Wolverine, who apparently never saw Kurt as the religious type.  It would be interesting to know exactly what Logan's conception is of what the devout should look like, but his comment leads to a brief but very nice conversation, of the kind that always made these two mutants one of my favourite pairings - the demonic-faced religious man of peace, and the broken-hearted murderous volcano of repressed love.  Logan's description of his friend in UXM #524 is one of my favourite moments from my favourite comic.  On this occasion, their argument is about what one needs in order to not be alone: a God, a friend, or a beer.

Kitty, meanwhile, doesn't really have any idea of how to feel less miserable  Risking death is one thing, as she tells Peter, waiting for it is something completely different.  Peter, for his part, argues that there is no sense in fearing the end, or going to pieces as it approaches.  Everyone is in a race against death, and everyone always loses sooner or later.  There's no point in getting worked up about the precise moment you trip, and your lead vanishes to zero.  I think I can buy that philosophy coming from someone as generally stoic as Colossus, but I suspect he's saying it more for Kitty's benefit that because he thinks it's true. 

Sprite, though, would rather get her comfort somewhere else.  The dangers and immorality of statutory rape seem an awful lot less relevant when one has only hours to live.  I kind of vascillate between not liking this scene and thinking it's brave and well-done, and I've never been able to pin down exactly how I feel about it.  I think my problem with it is simply that the X-Men's universe is too melodramatic and the team too constantly on the verge of total slaughter for me to be comfortable with the idea of a fourteen-year old girl arguing she should get to have sex at least once before the end.  Were the stakes noticeably higher than usual, or indeed were this a different kind of story, I think I'd be happier with it.  Either way, having made the decision to do it, I can't really fault the execution.  Kitty has a reasonable point, and Colossus' polite but firm refusal does exactly what it should, and play into and strengthen his character, rather than feeling like a bum note written in to avoid Claremont getting fired for all time.

Further negotiations are interrupted by the sudden return of Storm.  She appears to Kitty and Peter first, then to Logan and Kurt, who initially put ths vision down to a hallucinogenic effect brought on by their experiments in replicating beer.  Soon enough, though, it becomes apparent that this is the real Storm, or at least a projection of her.  The response to her return is somewhat muted, partially because the team have difficulty believing what they're seeing, but mainly because her arrival coincides with that of one of the Broodship creatures - apparently called the Acanti - which swallows the yacht and our heroes whole. 

When Ororo announces, seconds later, that she has become one with the mammoth space organism that has just eaten them, there is little comfort to be had.

Clues

Moira mentions that it's "been weeks" since the X-Men were abducted, and the narrative places this story in summer.  We're also informed that Kitty has reached and passed her fourteenth birthday at some point whilst in space.

These three references put us in a little difficulty.  The primary aim of this blog is to squeeze the adventures of the X-Men into the bare minimum of time, and even so, it was impossible to place the X-Men's abduction any sooner than seven months after Kitty's first introduction, back when she was referring to herself as thirteen and a half.  Confusing things further, Kitty is also referred to as fourteen in UXM #158, which itself is a minimum of a week and a half before the assault on Lilandra's yacht.

On the other hand, extending the amount of time the team has been in space allows the formation of the New Mutants to seem somewhat less immediate than would otherwise be the case, as well as allowing the reconstruction of Xavier's mansion to no longer be nearly instantaneous.

As always in these situations, we compromise, using the most honest definition of the word: something which is equally unsatisfactory in all directions.  We can add time in first by assuming the X-Men lay comatose for quite some time on the Brood homeworld. This will allow this story to take place about a fortnight before true summer begins (perhaps late spring was simply unseasonably warm), and will mean that Shadowcat's birthday is moved backward by less than a month.

(None of this actually helps regarding Xavier's mansion, in point of fact, but that seems clearly an error on Claremont's part).

The story itself takes place over the course of a day and a night.

Date

Thursday 9^th to Friday 10^th of June, 1983.

X-Date

X+5Y+84 to X+5Y+85.

Compression Constant

1 Marvel year = 3.69 standard years.

(Colossus is 26 years old.)

"The universe is full of surprises."

Contemporary Events

First day after the UK General Election that saw Thatcher's Conservatives re-elected in a landslide.

Standout Line

"Our lives our finite things.  We live our alloted span and no more.  Regardless of what we do, how hard we try, the best we can hope for is a brief delay of the inevitable.  It is sad, even cruel.  But it is also our most fundamental reality, to be faced and accepted." - Peter.

That Was The Year That Was: 1981

1981, by my reckoning, was the year in which Marvel's mutant population became the subject of a franchise.  I'll admit up-front that this is very much arguable.  One could choose 1975 instead - that was the year that saw both Uncanny X-Men return and The Champions debut, both of which included mutants in their line-up, as well as seeing Beast join the Avengers (which had already featured Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver in their ranks).

To my mind, though, it wasn't enough for mutants to simply feature as main characters.  I don't think the X-Men truly became a franchise until multiple books were available about being a mutant.  The Champions and The Avengers were both "standard" superhero team books (I mean to imply no criticism in that phrase).  Dazzler, by contrast was, like UXM, about - at least in part - the difficulty faced by being part of the mutant race.  That, to me, is when mutants stopped being the concern of just one book. 

There's probably also others that might want to go for 1982 instead, since that's when Marvel Graphic Novel #4 introduced the New Mutants, and also when the first limited X-Men series, Wolverine, was published.  I guess it comes down to whether you see Dazzler as part of the X-books series (since it's about a mutant who originally appeared in UXM and who struggles with her genetic status) or not (because it's about a singer who has no interest in getting involved with the struggle for either mutant rights or the punching of evil in the face).

All that said, then, what did 1981 bring us?  Well, as mentioned, we got Dazzler, which grew from a rather underdeveloped and throwaway special guest-athon into something perhaps ahead of it's time - a book in which superheroism isn't just seen as an interruption to everyday life (Spiderman had that covered) but an imposition to the point where the heroine actively tried to avoid any contact with the abnormal.  That angle, combined with the significant sub-plots involving Dazzler's career progression and love life, ultimately caused sales to drop, which is a shame, and I wonder if that led to the book attempted to return to its original roots.  Galactus sending Dazzler into a black hole is after all pretty similar to Doom sending her into the realm of nightmares, but in the later story there's no fretting over getting gigs under the belt to at least bring some spin to the rather by-the-numbers storyline.  Even without completely dropping the slice-of-life stuff, I don't see how the book could become anything other than ludicrously schizophrenic.  I guess I'll see when I finish the first Essential volume.

Over on the book that started it all, meanwhile, Claremont was now into the seventh year of his run, and by this point he had most certainly got his eye in.  Some of the most famous X-Men stories had already been and gone - the initial Shi'ar/D'Ken storyline, the "Dark Phoenix Saga", but 1981 saw the first full year of Shadowcat in the team line-up (I may not have liked the character back then, but I can hardly claim she wasn't important), along with the now-classic "Days of Future Past" story.  If a story's impact can be measured by how many times future writers return to it (at least in name), then this must surely be in at least the top five X-Men stories ever written.

This was also the year that provided some long-overdue complexity to Magneto, the X-Men's oldest foe.  UXM #150 re-cast the man as a principled man so deluded by his experiences that he'd somehow become a callous terrorist.  This new approach to Magneto would be template for later years, and lead to him regularly featuring in the top echelons of "greatest comic villain ever", and with good reason.

All this, and the Brood too!  I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say 1981 was a pivotal year for the comic, so much as part of a pivotal era that lasted for a great deal (though by no means all) of Claremont's run.  Having said that, we're clearly at the start of something, and by the end of the following year, there can be no doubt that we'd reached the point at which the X-franchise was up and running.

DAZ #10: "In The Darkness... A Light!"

(Into the black.)

Comments

Welcome to Drone R-II's[1] Powerpoint presentation on Alison Blaire, AKA "Dazzler".  During this presentation, please refrain from smoking, drinking, or consuming entire planets along with their inhabitants.

We can skip over most of this talk, actually, since we're already up on Dazzler's history.  One slide's worth noting, though:

I would dearly like to know how one calculates a person's "confrontational quotient" and "dysfunction potential", and how high Daz is scoring in either case.

(Also, what the Hell is going on with her shoulders up there?  There's no way those three pictures are of the same person unless her clavicles are attached to her spine like curtains on a rail.)

Galactus listens patiently to his drone's lecture, and concludes his minion is correct.  It's time to pay Earth another visit.

Back on the slopes of Mt Athena, Dazzler has done a runner before the Feds can either recapture her or get their faces burned off by her now-uncontrollable power.  Unfortunately, the combination of the epic destruction in her wake and the near-blinding brilliance of her body make tracking her an embarrassingly simple task, and Quasar catches up with her within minutes.  Alas, Galactus gets there first, and no amount of "limitless energy... from distant quasi-stellar bodies" (I never knew that's what quasar was short for - who says comics ain't edookashionul?) can stop Dazzler's abduction.

Drone R-II stands ready to receive Alison (I guess Drone C-III is busy employing one of his over six million forms of cowering in a corner), and tells her first that she's been brought here by a transport beam packed with tranquilisers to calm her down, and second that Galactus wants a word with her, which you'd think would counteract the sleepy-ray, quick-sharp.

Dazzler can't understand what Galactus could want with her, and decides to go find him and get some answers.  Upon reaching his inner sanctum, however, she finds herself entirely unable to gain his attention.  Fortunately, of course, she was granted phenomenal cosmic power back when she accidentally killed that guy that time, so she's confident that she can disrupt Galactus' reverie by shooting him in the spine.  Points for chutzpah,  I guess, but I'm definitely starting to think R-II has underestimated Alison's dysfunction quotient.  "I don't see how things could get any worse!", she tells her robot buddy.  Here's a clue, Daz: Galactus hasn't yet killed you instantly.  Not that it matters in the end, even when Galactus finally feels her blasts, he merely asks R-II why he's being disturbed by a mortal "flee."

It seems Galactus is feeling rather sorry for himself.  Frankly, I'd have more sympathy for him if he hadn't already told R-II that there's no point in feeling sorry for the billions of people Galactus chomps through every few weeks).  Turns out, I don't get a vote, though, because...

Welcome to Galactus' Powerpoint presentation on his own history.  During this presentation, please refrain from smoking, drinking, or repeatedly shooting the speaker with lasers whilst he's trying to get some work done.  Long story short: all of Galactus' heralds have been men of principle, who ultimately rebelled out of distaste for his interstellar rampage of genocide, so this time he chose Terrax the Tamer, an unprincipled, hard-hearted villainous bastard, only to learn that those guys are pretty experienced in sneaky treachery as well. Terrax tried using his Herald powers to rule over an entire planet, and when Galactus found out, the Tamer fled into a black hole to escape his master's wrath (as well as, you know, every fucking thing else).

This, we learn, is why Dazzler is here: Galactus wants her to retrieve his former herald from the black hole.  Because, I swear to God, her light can defeat the "dimension of anti-light" that a black hole apparently is.  To think I complained about lightning in space.  Alison meekly follows R-II to the other end of the ship - perhaps a surprising move, given that a few pages earlier she was willing to blast Galactus in the back purely because she was too small to tap him on the shoulder - and is locked into some kind of chamber.  There, she's bombarded with sound, super-charging her powers.

The resulting flow of energy oscillates between breaking her mind, and bringing her to photogasm, but she manages to keep her head and keep her clothes on. She's also now powerful enough to be worthy of Galactus' attention, although his mission briefing basically amounts to "I'm tying you to my ship and chucking you into a black hole - try not to die."  Once inside said celestial phenomenon, Dazzler finds Terrax almost immediately, but he's not particularly happy to receive visitors, especially those sent by Galactus.  His first move is to cut through Alison's life-line, and it looks a great deal like stage two is going to involve him stabbing her to death...

Clues

This issue begins a few minutes after Dazzler's escape from Project PEGASUS, and takes place over the course of an hour or two.

Date

Thursday 19^th of January, 1983.

X-Date

 X+4Y+284.

Contemporary Events

The Apple Lisa is released.  Due to its high price, the Lisa was not particularly popular, though NASA was a big customer, leading to problems when Lisa was discontinued.

Standout Line

"The only honor I want is a gold record!"  - Dazzler refuses to be grateful for the chance to die horribly as an enforced favour to Galactus.

[1] See what they did there?

UXM #164: "Binary Star!"

(White holes and revelations.)

Comments

When last we checked in with our heroes, we'd left them aboard a Shi'ar pleasure yacht, desperately trying to escape "Sleazeworld", only for them to run straight into their pursuers' gun-sights.

This issue begins, then, with a blizzard of plasma fire.  Fortunately for the X-Men, though, the incoming Brood fighter-craft are under strict orders not to harm their quarry (except Wolverine, who's no longer of any use).  You have to feel a bit sorry for Hunt-Master T'Crilee, actually, under orders as he is to persuade a spaceship to stop by repeatedly failing to shoot it, hoping that its occupants will eventually decide they'd rather return to the clawed embrace of their erstwhile torturers, rather than risk the chance the Brood will accidentally take out their life-support by failing to miss.  His queen will kill him if he fucks this up, as well.

Inside the Z'Reee Shar, it's all hands to battle stations.  Logan, Carol and Peter man the weapons consoles (there's a nice moment where Colossus fesses up to himself that he's just not quick-witted enough to make for a decent shot, which makes a change from the usual "everyone has been trained for everything" approach employed in today's hyper-militarised X-Men), and Cyclops gets to fire his eyebeams through a spontaneously-grown ruby quartz hull blister.  Storm gets a similar vantage point, only to find that the surrounding void makes her lightning super-powerful. Which, of course, is bollocks on a stick.  This is an old argument I'm about to start up again here, but even in the context of superhero comics, there's a difference between ignoring the laws of physics and swinging your dick in their face, giggling.  Either way, though, she becomes too scared of killing the Brood or their unwilling organic vessels to keep fighting.  I don't know about anyone else, but I'm officially sick of Claremont pulling this "I dare not use my awesome powers!" crap, which is kind of worrying considering we have another decade of his stories still ahead of us.

Whilst the rest of the team fend off the Brood (or in Nightcrawler's case, try very hard not to die from near-vacuum exposure), Kitty gets into a pressure suit, and heads out to try and fix the warp-drive, which has been badly damaged now that T'Crilee has realised he'd better start aiming at the Z'Ree Shar after all.  Time is quickly running out, though, not only is Storm throwing a strop rather than saving herself and her dearest friends, but Carol keeps freaking out for reasons unknown.  Something is changing inside her, an interaction between her half-Kree DNA and the after-effects of the Brood using her body for silly putty.  Power is building, reaching astonishing, dangerous levels.

She ignites at the same moment as the warp drive.  Kitty has saved the day, though not without cost - a piece of shrapnel escaped her attention, and both her pressure suit and her shoulder have taken a pretty bad hit.

Back on Earth, Xavier sits in his now-rebuilt mansion.  Which, given it was just yesterday we stood outside the skeletal superstructure of the barely-started repair job, means the Shi'ar construction devices Charles mentioned must be impressive indeed.  I'm not sure how they knew how to replicate all the furniture just so, but really, after the bullshit of unstoppable space lightning, this barely raises an eyebrow.  The Professor is dining with Ilyana, trying perhaps to figure out just how extreme the changes wrought on her during seven years in Limbo really are.  Right now, she seems entirely stable and undamaged, but when has that kind of luck ever lasted around here?

On board the Z'Ree Shar, a wounded Kitty awakes to discover that Carol has become a being of sentient stellar flame.  I think.  Or, she's just on fire and hasn't noticed yet.  Either way, she's able to use enough of her new-found power to kick-start the ship - which had floundered after the initial warp hop - and still has enough energy left to start waxing philosophical on the matter of what exactly she is now.  "My energy source is the primal fabric of a universe!" she concludes, deciding she can tap directly into "white holes."  Quite frankly, I think she's making this shit up off the top of her head, though I wouldn't want to say that to her scary burning face.  She also names herself Binary, presumably due to the two stars that adorn her new costume, and I guess we're not supposed to talk about how that makes no sense, either.

Something else isn't adding up aboard ship, for that matter, though this time the X-Men have noticed: the serious injuries Kitty sustained during her EVA have healed completely.  Wolverine (who's also healed up, though that of course is to be expected) lacks the acting chops necessary to hide that he knows what's up, but he still won't spill the beans, preferring to shout at Cyclops again for not letting him gut the Brood Queen.  It's Storm, in the end, who figures it out, sensing the presence of another life within her.  It doesn't take her long to put two and two together, and when she does, she steals a shuttlecraft and blasts off.

With Kitty magically healed but Storm inexplicably mental, Cyclops tells Wolverine he's run out of time - exposition better be forthcoming now, dammit.  Logan finally relents, and explains to everyone that they've each got anew Brood Queen growing inside them.  Oddly, he forgets to mention that Carol is safe.  The results of this are disastrous: swearing revenge for herself and her friends, Binary launches herself into the void on a mission of vengeance.  Which is good of her, and all, but the resulting explosive decompression doesn't look like it's going to be good for anyone...

Clues

This story follows on directly from the previous one, and continues into the following day, at least in terms of ship-time on board Lilandra's yacht. We do however learn that this story doesn't start on a Monday, which requires shifting things forward by a day (we can easily assume the X-Men were in their Brood-induced comas for a little longer).

Date

Tuesday 22^nd to Wednesday 23^rd of May, 1983.

X-Date 

X+5Y+52 to X+5Y+53.

Compression Constant

1 Marvel year = 3.74 standard years.

(Colossus is 25 years old.)

"My thoughts are too slow."

Contemporary Events

Radio Moscow announcer Vladimir Danchev is removed from the air after praising Muslims in Afghanistan for standing up to the Soviet invasion.

Standout Line

"Everyone to bed!"

Empress Lilandra.  Zebedee.  You never see them together, do you?