X1F #4 "The Mind Of Jean Grey"

(A dream of Jeannie's.)

Comments

Let's take a break from Claremont's record-breaking UXM run, and finish off X-Men: First Class Finals.  When last we checked in, those team members furnished with Y chromosomes were headed into Marvel Girl's subconscious, in an effort to ascertain why she was manifesting previous foes all over the place.

Most of this issue, then, takes place within the mind of Jean Grey (as indeed the title helpfully reminds us).  Xavier's rather worried by Jean's recent habit of pulling people into her dreamscape, and given the books we've been looking at this month, he clearly has a point. 

Their first stop is to review their last conversation with Jean before she passed out (explaining the strange blue-dialogue X-Men shades we saw last issue).  The team try to piece together the puzzle - creating Juggernaut to floor Frederick makes some sense, but what about the Magneto junkpile, and why is she letting herself get punched around by her own illusions - but their brainstorming is interrupted by the Hulk.

Fortunately, Jean is there to step up to the plate, single-handedly juggling the Hulk ("HULK NOT LIKE!") until she gets bored and tosses him away.  It's clear at this point that Jean is somewhat selectively editing her memories (how like a woman, amirite?), casting herself as the team's biggest gun and last line of defence. One moment Cyttorak turns up from nowhere and gets clobbered by our redhead, the next the team are back on Monster Island whilst Jean defeats Mastermind in a psychic duel.  The team fly after her (being inside a dream is not devoid of advantages) and finds her defeating angry hippos in the middle of the Florida everglades, something you'd ironically have to be from Florida to not realise is ridiculous.

Xavier tries to lecture Jean into snapping out of her revenge-a-thon, but doesn't get very far.  Scott manages where his teacher failed, though, by just stepping forward and engaging smooching.  "The power of luvvv", as Warren notes.  Usually that kind of stuff irritates me, but I can see how kissy-time would have more of an effect than the Professor's droning.

The only problem is that Jean's subconscious ain't exactly playing ball right now.  It responds to Jean starting to recover her wits by pitting the team against every foe they've faced throughout the X1C run, with Magneto and Toad thrown in for good measure.  Jean manages to dispel the slavering hordes, but her hind-brain has one more punch left to throw: the car that killed Jean's friend when they were ten years old.

Jean concludes that this incident, which caused a flare in Jean's nascent powers that revealed her to the Professor, has been simmering in her subconscious ever since, creating a feedback loop somewhere in her synapses that she won't be able to save her friends when they're in danger.  It's a nice idea, and ties up the miniseries, but I can't help wondering why this has happened now, after 66 issues of UXM and 24 of X1C.  Obviously, the reason why it couldn't happen sooner is clear enough, but I'm not sure stories get a pass for happening too late merely because no-one thought of it when it would have made sense. 

Of course, X1C was never going to be an easy title to wrap up, by it's very nature - not just the "untold tales" format, but the book's unwillingness to introduce it's own rogue's gallery.  Again, though, I'd say that would more suggest that First Class Finals wasn't a great idea from the outset.  Still, whilst the lightweight nature of Parker's approach to the series might stretch a little thin over a four part story, it's still nice and breezy, and with Parker's trademark charmingly irreverent dialogue.  Indeed, though this seres as a whole has been slightly sub-par, it's really only the final page that causes any real problems; a dashed set-up for  Giant Size X-Men that makes no sense in context and tarnishes the book's previously excellent record in avoiding contradicting the events of its parent title.

Clues

Judging by the colour of the sky at various points in this issue, this story begins immediately after X1F #3, and concludes on the following day.

The issue ends with the team heading to Krakoa, an hour after they graduate.  Obviously, this is impossible, both because there's no sign of Havok and Polaris being with them, and, more importantly, Hank was still pink and comparatively hairless earlier in the day.

Date

Friday 4^th to Saturday 5^th of September, 1980.

X-Date

X+2Y+157 to X+2Y+158.

Contemporary Events

The world's longest highway tunnel is opened in Switzerland.

Standout Line

"I have a feeling my mind isn't this big." - Bobby.

Giant-Size Uncanny X-Men First Class #1 (No titles)

(Why can't I have a sling made from a demon cow?)

Comments

This is one of those rare things from Marvel - a comic that's legitimately hilarious.  I haven't laughed this hard at one of books since Nextwave, and that isn't technically in the main continuity anyway.

This issue gets round the problem by having the new X-Men describe their pasts to Moira.  Storm, Colossus and Nightcrawler go for important stories that help explain their personalities - Storm learning she couldn't escape her problems with a carefree attitude, Colossus saving his friends and learning that they would happily accept him for what he is, and Nightcrawler's realisation that he could be the star of the "Winding Roads Circus", but only at the price of no-one ever knowing who he truly is. They're all nice tales, and work as brief illustrations, but it's Banshee and (especially Wolverine) who hog the limelight.

Banshee's tale takes the form of a comic poem (allegedly a song written by a friend) in which he saves a woman from being abducted by apparently half the Irish underworld (the supernatural one, not those guys from In Bruges), only to fall in love with her.  There can't be a traditionally happy ending here, of course (indeed, Banshee was presumably telling this tale to Moira whilst surreptitiously checking out her legs), and Sean learns that the lady he's saved is actually a banshee.  She can't stay with him, she tells him, but on the day he finally dies, she will return to sing him into the next life, so he won't be alone.

Maybe I'm an old softy, but I had a tear in my throat reading that, knowing (as did the writers) how Banshee met his end, surrounded by strangers and killed by a madman.  It's a wonderful bittersweet ending to a funny but otherwise inconsequential bit of fluff.

Wolverine's story is so brilliant I almost snorted my liver out of my nostrils. None of it is true, of course, but that's what makes it so funny. In Wolvie's tale to Moira, he gains superpowers by being bitten by a radioactive Wolverine, and then tries to make ends meet with various odd-jobs until he finally gives into his calling and becomes an agent of S.N.I.K.T., travelling the world fighting evil -including the zombie-clowns of Budapest ("Don't make me laugh!) and the vicious agents of B.I.M.B.O. ("Break one nail and two false ones will take its place!"). 

Eventually, he saves a bald man from B.I.M.B.O.s clutches and agrees to join his X-Men, purely so he can bone the hot red-head he'd noticed at a party.

It is, quite simply, the best four pages of anything I've read this year, even before you get to the final spread, which contains some of the mutants that didn't make the grade (the Australian "Didgery Dude" is a particular highlight), which reminds me of an irregular strip that used to show up in the UK issues of Transformers from time to time (I wanted to find one to put on the blog, but these days you won't get anything back from a Google search of "rubbish Transformers" that isn't about Michael Bay).

Clues

The framing story in this issue can be assumed to play out over three days.  The timings of the other stories - each one a tale from the past of one of the new X-Men - doesn't really concern us. 

The fact that Moira is at the mansion (though Cyclops shouldn't know she's a scientist at thus point) places the framing story after UXM #96, hence why I'm considering it now.

Date

Wednesday 2^nd to Friday 4^th September, 1981.

X-Date

X+3Y+120 to X+3Y+122.

Contemporary Events

The Iranian government announce a provisional Prime Minister and leader of the Islamic Republic Party to replace officials assassinated three days earlier.

The USSR perform their first underground nuclear test.

Dame Enid Lyons, the first woman to be elected to the Australian House of Representatives, passes away, aged 84.

Standout Line

I can't choose between Wolverine's various jobs: children's author ("Bouncy Bear went to visit his friend, Walter Weasel.  "Where's the money you owe me, Walter?" Bouncy asked as he pulled out his favourite mallet."); actor ("This is one salesman that ain't dyin, bub!"), or folk-singer ("How many roads must a man walk down... before he gives up and steals a car?").

X1F #3: "Higher Learning"

(Graduation blues.)

Comments

This is definitely getting interesting.  The initial fight with the "ghost of Magneto" is entertaining enough (especially Beast's increasingly ludicrous attempts to hypothesise on what might be going on), but when the X-Men start watching their own conversations whilst they're having them, I can safely be considered intrigued (it's a nice way to distract from a fairly long talky scene, as well).

Presumably the "post-game analysis" (as Cyclops would say) has something to do with Scott's conclusion that Jean is to blame for the current influx of the X-Men's greatest hits (she's certainly conspicuous by her absence).   That in turn would suggest her subconscious is acting up over the chance the X-Men will split up.  But then why does "Juggernaut" show up just after the gang decide they're going to stick together?

Then again, maybe she's just experience the same overwhelming sense of futility that so many of were hit by upon becoming graduands.  I certainly remember being distinctly disconsolate at the realisation that four of the most busy, exciting, confusion, heart-breaking and important years of my life had boiled down to a single number.  God only knows what I'd have smashed to bits had I access to telekinetic powers.  Or what would have crawled out of my subconscious.  I can think of at least one member of the maths department whose lectures could be unfavourably compared to having Juggernaut punch you in the gonads, and I'm sure there are readers of this blog who can back me up on that. 

Who are the real heroes, is what I'm saying.

Clues

This issue takes place over a single day, if we ignore the narration from the blue-bubbled future X-Men.  Also, Bobby mentions that it is not yet winter.

Date

Friday 4^th September, 1980.

X-Date

X+2Y+157.

Contemporary Events

Tropical storm Danielle forms in the Gulf of Mexico. 

Standout Line

"Perhaps his essence has become spread throughout space and he's attempting to... rebuild himself... now a purely electromagnetic being?"
"That explanation takes too long to say.  Don't like it." - Beast and Angel.

X1F #2: "Beginning Of The End"

(Ghosts of X-Men's past.)

Comments

Yay! It's Froderick! (Sorry, force of habit).  It's good to have him back, for two reasons. First, because one of the definite weaknesses of the previous First Class volumes was a lack of original characters - Frederick is pretty much the only one I can remember, really - and second, because it removes the idea that Cyclops killed someone as a teenager and never mentioned it again.

Speaking of Frederick, and his eighteen months spent tunnelling out of the collapsed mine-shaft, Jean is charmingly concerned with the fate of all the Moloids Frederick chowed down on, given that in the two times they've met, the Moloids tried to either a) steal their food, or b) kill them all.  I guess that's what makes her a superhero.  I say fuck 'em.

But Frederick turns out to be just a bit part in this particular scenario, as he finds himself on the crappy end of a patented Juggernaut knuckle sandwich.  Which is pleasingly baffling, especially since he seems to have faded out of Warren's memory almost instantly.

Indeed, there are several strange factors at work here.  How likely is it that they'd find a new mutant in exactly the same quarry as the one where Jean and the Invisible Woman fought the Mad Thinker's rock creatures ("Going into caves almost never works out well for us")?  And how does the giant junk Magneto fit in to all of this?

Clearly we're focusing on the threats of the past. Last issue we had that rundown of a whole bunch of previous villains, and now we've got Frederick, Juggernaut and (kind of) Magneto.  But what's the connection?  I have to say, I'm enjoying this immensely - it's got the same level of fun lines and general tomfoolery of the previous two First Class volumes, but now they're tied in to a much more cohesive and weighty storyline.  Shame there's only two issues left, really.

Just as a continuity note: there's a nice nod here to Hank signing on to work for the Brand Corporation, which is of course where he manages to turn himself into the bouncin' blue Beast in Amazing Tales #11.  I'll probably take a look at that sequence of issues (there are seven or so, as I recall), once we've gotten through First Class Finals and maybe a few more Hidden Years.

Clues

Frederick claims he was trapped underground for a year and a half, and then spent some time studying the X-Men upon his return to the surface.  Since our current time line puts the time gap as actually being fourteen months, we might need to do a little re-jigging.  "A year and a half!" isn't the most accurate of descriptors, and one can certainly see why the time spent being trapped underground is something you'd be willing to exaggerate, but we should probably move this issue (and the one before it) a little further into the future, especially since it will give us more time to play with for the (currently serialised) XHY.

We'll therefore add on a further two months to the timeline.

Date

Friday 4^th September, 1980.

X-Date

X+2Y+157.

Contemporary Events

Shooting begins on The Great Muppet Caper.

Standout Line

"See, most people think super heroes live exciting lives every minute.  They never see those times when we just walk into an empty cave."

X1F #1: "Senioritis"

(Cramming sessions.)

Comments

We've clearly leaped through time by some considerable amount for this miniseries - this issue deals with the X-Men following Xavier's return from the dead.  It's hard to know exactly what to make of this issue, since it's split fairly evenly between set-up and nostalgia.

As far as the former is concerned, it's clear Xavier is training them up for something big, and that Jean's already expanding psychic powers are now increasing still faster in response.  Presumably, this is all leading up to the X-Men's "graduation" (hence the title of the series, and the issue).  Of course, as I've mentioned, the X-Men graduated in UXM #7, but that never made a lick of sense (Bobby was at most seventeen at the time, and almost certainly sixteen).  This is a far more sensible time for their graduation, but anyone particularly dedicated to canon like me, for instance) can easily just assume the X-Men are about to finish the "postgraduate work" the original series mentioned from time to time.

The nostalgia quotient is filled by an impressively/unbearably long (depending on your perspective) parade of the villains of yesteryear.  Grotesk and Diamond Jack make appearances as danger room droids, along with the more commonly seen Sentinels ("Now why don't you go off and attack the Sun, because that's what causes mutations sometimes"), and a whole host of misanthropes show up in Jean's dreamscape.  Even Kukulcan and the Locust aren't left out, despite being two of Roy Thomas' very worst ideas, which in condemnation terms is not dissimilar to listing Chernobyl and Fukushima Daiichi as two of the very worst nuclear disasters. 

Still, it made me grin. Whether there's more here than a quick giggle, though, is something I'll have to wait and see about.

Clues

Hmm.  This is potentially tricky.  The dialogue in this issue makes it clear that this is set after UXM #66, which means we're in the same "no-man's land" currently being inhabited by XHY.  Moreover, at least from the six issues I've read so far of that latter comic, it's difficult in the extreme to see how these stories are going to be reconciled.  It's briefly mentioned that Alex has left, which is helpful, but even so, with Iceman and Angel in the Antarctic Circle and the rest of the team in Kenya (according to XHY), it's not easy to see how all five of the original X-Men could be chillin' in Westchester whilst Xavier is visiting Moira.

In the absence of a better strategy, then, we'll assume that the X-Men regrouped at the mansion exactly one week after the events of XHY #1-6.  Time will tell (it always does) if this is a reasonable approximation.

Beast mentions that it's been "a couple of years" since the events of X1C #3, in which the team was dragged into a Cerebro feedback loop, but that holds with us placing that story in September 1978.

Date

Friday 4^th July, 1980.

X-Date

X+2Y+95.

Contemporary Events

Over half a million people gather at the Washington Monument to watch the Beach Boys in concert.

Standout Line

"It's also about uniformity -- that's why they're called uniforms!" Yeah, I've always wondered about that. The dress code around Xavier's is so lax it always makes those few people willing to toe the line just look like chumps.  Still, at least they've stopped letting Jean design their costumes.

Giant-Size X1C: "The Thing (From Another Aisle)", "Invasion Of The Bobby-Snatchers", "The Day The Earth Just Would Not Stand Still"

(Late night triple-feature.)

Comments

Well, this is silly.  Wonderfully, unashamedly silly.  I don't know what got into the drinking water at Marvel's subterrenean volcanic lair that month, but it apparently convinced Parker that the best approach to the second X1C special (don't be fooled by the title, it's only "giant-size" because it re-prints UXM #40 AKA "The X-Men vs. Frankenstein's Monster That's Actually An Alien Android Shut Up Why Are You Laughing?") would be to write three stories based on classic sci-fi movies only without aliens.

I have no idea what led Parker down this gloriously insane path, though there's a clue at the very end where he implies the three "X-Files" (BECAUSE OF THE X, DO YOU SEE?) that Beast is tasked to solve were actually handed to him by a Skrull sleeper agent.  What better way to tie into Secret Invasion than to have the team debunk assumed alien threats.  It's just the sort of ridiculously complex yet strangely cunning plan the Skrulls live for - use their alien influence to have unsuspecting heroes disprove the existence of aliens.

Of course, maybe if Parker hadn't been chugging down quite so much H20LSD, he might have thought twice about two consecutive stories based on a mad Antarctic-based vegan accidentally creating sentient tofu, but it's not like The Thing or Invasion of the Body-Snatchers were really all that credible to begin with, or indeed are the X-Men themselves, as much as fans (including myself) want to believe otherwise (though this may be yesterday's arrival of the next three issues of the thoroughly self-unaware XHY talking). 

Even so, the best of the three stories is "The Day The Earth Just Wouldn't Stand Still", in which the X-Men themselves are mistaken for alien by the North Koreans, and resort to pretending to be Gort and Klaatu in order to escape with their lives (all drawn in wonderfully atmospheric monochrome, of course).

Clues

It would be tempting to write this whole issue off as some kind of group hallucination brought on by massive cheese consumption (making it more of a hallumi-nation, I guess.  Huh?  Huh?  SHUT UP I AM HILARIOUS!), but the Skrull coda suggests we're supposed to take this seriously, or at least as seriously as that time when Wolverine met those Leprachauns. 

Xavier mentions Beast can make use of any X-Men who aren't busy with exams at that particular time, and the team goes through at least one personnel shift during the issue (dude, seriously, why is Angel back?)  Let's assume the eXam period (see what I did there?) lasts a week, and all three stories take place within that period (I'm skipping the distinctly Poe-flavoured Vigil of the Mad, which is brilliant both in concept and structure, but which is too keen to have mini-Charles Xavier brick up his curious, gin-loving neighbour to be properly considered canonical).

Date

Wednesday 26^th April to Tuesday 3^rd May, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+24 to X+Y+30.

Contemporary Events

Greenland acquires home rule (though full autonomy takes a further three decades).

Standout Line

"On our world, there are many enforcers like this.  Keep up your warlike ways, and I will not be able to stop them from returning to reduce this planet to cinders! So anyway... we have another planet to threaten.  Good day!" - Beast.

X1C (v2) #16: "4X"

(A slum of ice and fire.)

Comments

I've decided that it's the little touches that make this comic so much fun. Last issue it was Jean trying to telekinetically animate her hair, this time it's Sue Storm fashioning her force field into an umbrella to keep the falling debris off her husband while he works.

It's just another way of distinguishing this book from the kind of po-faced retro wretchedness that clogged up the first three issues of XHY (and from what I can gather, I shouldn't have high hopes for the rest of that series, either).  It also means an issue like this, which are nominally supposed to brig things to a conclusion (there's still a special issue and the four part First Class Finals miniseries to get through, but this is the last issue of X1C as an ongoing book) can get away with being as lightweight as it is.

I can even forgive yet another guest appearance, since Bobby and Johnny are absolutely made for each other (did we really need Spiderman as well, though?).  It makes perfect sense that the two responsibility-phobic teenage boys from their respective teams would try to prove themselves by moving into their own pad (paid for by one of their relatives, natch).   It's like the first week of university, only with the emphasis more on finding cool villains to fight rather than girl to sleep with. 

Not that any self-respecting undergraduate female would be caught dead in that apartment.  You can tell how long our heroes have been in there by counting the pieces of discarded crap on the floor.  It's like stinky tree rings.

Of course, such domestic bliss cannot last.  Two adolescents who can't stand the company of adults are unlikely to do much better with each other.  Like-pole magnets have nothing on teenage solipsism when it comes to mutual repulsion. The neutral observer can see trouble coming when Bobby starts bitching about his team having only one girl to a guy who's only options for an intra-team romance are homosexuality and incest.  Which is a little thoughtless, I think, though admittedly Johnny ups the ante rather too much by trying to pull Bobby's girlfriend (these kids today, huh?)

Before that happens, though, there's just enough time for a scrap with two super-villains - the Scorpion and the Beetle, foes more commonly seen brawling with Spiderman but who have now been press-ganged into service in the "4X" rogue's gallery ("We ain't "your" bad guys!" "Yes you are, I called it!").  Frankly, I think these two deserve their own series.  With lines such as "The beetle is un-beetle-ble." and a name like "the Insidious Insects" ("Avaricious Arthropods" would be more accurate, of course, but one shouldn't expect too great a grasp of taxonomy from one's street-level supervillains), it'd be brilliant! 

In conclusion then, an entirely throwaway but very funny end to an entirely throwaway but frequently very funny book.  Good job all round.

Just for the record, though, why did Angel come back?

Clues

This issue takes place over three days.

Date

Sunday 23^rd to Tuesday 25^th April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+22 to X+Y+24.

Contemporary Events

Anti-Nazi League demonstrators and the Metropolitan police clash in Southall over a National Front town meeting.  Activist Blair Peach is knocked unconscious during the fight, and dies the next day.

Standout Line

"The Iceman is in fact... BOBBY DRAKE."
"Yeah... that doesn't really mean anything to me."

X1C (v2) #15: "Bad Hair Day"

("Much hair-do about nothing")

Comments

Boo!  This recycled cover is a disgrace!  And for an issue that features not one but two redheaded women!  I am outraged, I tell you!  Outraged!

I guess they make up for it inside, though.  There's one panel in particular, where Jean has her tongue stuck out in concentration as she tries to use her powers to move her hair like Medusa's, that's easily may favourite ever image of the young Ms Grey.

On any other day, I'd probably have really liked this issue - there's a lot of great dialogue, and having Medusa stay (however briefly) at the mansion because she can't be sure she isn't a mutant is a reasonable set-up.  Today, though, I'm not so charitably inclined, because a) it's another special-guest issue and I'm sick of them, and b) Medusa's "amnesiac alien" routine is a bit too reminiscent of Machine Mans "awkward robot" shtick from the last two issues.  Again, that sort of thing can be fun, but it's not really particularly taxing, and trying twice in a row feels a little lazy.

You do have to respect a supervillain who rings the doorbell, though.  Even if he is doing it with the barrel of his super-advanced ray-gun.  Manners cost nothing, after all.

Oh look, Angel's back, as of course he ultimately had to be.  I guess arial sex with a never-ending supply of half-naked hotties doesn't really make up for not being able to spend his ludicrous amounts of money.  Must be tough to be a millionaire, huh?

Clues

This issue takes place over two days.

From the conversation the team are having whilst on the X-jet - regarding the destruction of X-50 in their last adventure - it seems plausible that they are returning from that mission when this story starts, placing this issue on the same day as the previous two.

Date

Friday 21^st to Saturday 22^nd April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+20 to X+Y+21.

Contemporary Events

The National Academy of Sciences in Washington, DC unveil the Albert Einstein Memorial.

Standout Line

"Then we jump off at the last second before it hits, right?"
"Yes, because physics works just like your favourite cartoons" - Iceman and Beast.

X1C (v2) #14: "Lava Man Attack!"

("Our destructive robot pal.")

Comments

Hoo, boy.  I would not want to be Dr Stack right now.  Just as soon as you've discovered that your mechanical progeny won't defend his new team-mates without your express orders ("He appears to be carefully recording our demise for posterity!"), it turns out that all the other robots back at the lab have joined hands for a few quick choruses of "Kill All Humans!"

It's like Sophie's Choice, only you've built the machine that's making you choose in the first place.  Think of the stress!

Actually, remove the body count and this is pretty much what life is like for all academics, all the time.

You have to feel for the X-Men too, advancing into a tunnel filled with Lava Men whilst trying to keep quiet about the fact that Aaron could go nuts at any moment (having already seen that "go nuts" can include detaching his head and using his arms to slaughter indiscriminately everything within a ten foot radius).  They try to keep him as at ease as possible, but the ungrateful robo-wretch still goes mental the very instant he gets his face torn off. Which is probably the sort of thing that would invalidate the warranty, I suppose, but even so...

Seared by lava or disemboweled by an android with a terrible hair cut?  Man, there are some tough choices on offer today.  Not least our own, which is whether we should feel gypped that we're watching the X-Men fight creatures fashioned from living molten rock, instead of watching a crack team of US soldiers blowing the crap out of a small army of killer robots. 

Truly this issue is a moral minefield.

Clues

This issue takes place over a few hours.

Date

Friday 21^st April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+20.

Contemporary Events

Dominic Zamprogna (James "Jammer" Lyman in Battlestar Galactica) is born.

Standout Line

"Stop hitting yourself.  Stop hitting yourself." Telekinetic powers = all kinds of bitchy fun.

X1C (v2) #13: "Rise, Robot, Rise"

(Lava and robots and sloths.)

Comments

Today's extinct mammal: the megatherium.


It's a good job my friend A doesn't read this blog,
 she has a crippling phobia of sloths.  True story.

Even though it's a massively overrated film (except HAL's final moments, which are genuinely beautiful), I'm willing to give plenty of bonus points to Parker for a brilliant 2001: A Space Odyssey riff here, in which the megatherium bone Hank tosses in the air (whilst resembling a cave-man in both pose and rage) turns in a single frame to a telephone receiver.

The reference is more than a quick joke, as well.  We move in this issue from a gift from the prehistoric Land of the Mists to the arrival of the original Machine Man and his creator, Doctor Abel Stack.

This issue makes a lot out of the "robot fails to adequately understand human interactions/speech patterns" idea, which is frankly probably one of the laziest comedy routes available for a writer, but that doesn't mean it can't raise the odd chuckle ("I take no offence, female"; "I will not terminate canines unless they pose a direct threat to national security").  There's also a nice callback in the X-Men initially assuming Machine Man is the Super-Skrull, since his powers seem to be limited to fire, strength, and being stretchy.

Also featured: Lava Men! Giant red-hot super-strong vandals that apparently have been covered up as "hoaxes"!  How can that possibly work in the Marvel Universe?  A giant alien overlord dressed in purple and blue and sporting a helmet carved from a robotic beetle just tried to eat the fucking planet a few months ago.  Who's gonna find Lava Men tough to swallow?

And if all that isn't enough, serious shit is going down at Stack's base.  Once again humanity has flown, Icarus-like, too close to the Sun, creating machines that wish only our destructions.  Mind you, Stack hasn't really helped matters by ignoring the real First Law of Robotics: if you want your mechanical creations to stay on-side, do not make them look evil/scary as all fuck.

Clues

This story takes place over a single day.  There's no suggestion of how long Angel has been in the Land of the Mists, and presumably Hank could have been given the megatherium skeleton during his initial visit.  Bobby's insistence that Warren will come back within the fortnight also suggests that little time has passed, so we'll place this issue as taking place the day after the team returns from Brazil.

Hank mentions that it's been decades since Mt St Helen's last eruption, which suggests this issue is intended to be set in the 21st century (i.e. that we're supposed to believe that at most eight years have passed between the X-Men fighting Factor 3 and the beginning of Secret Invasion).  As usual, though, we shall ignore specific references to historical events.

Date

Friday 21^st April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+20.

Contemporary Events

James McAvoy, future Charles Xavier, is born.

Standout Line

"In the future!  Robots will be able to talk to muffins!  They will tell them to be more delicious!" - Bobby

X1C (v2) #12: "Fly Away"

(Birdman of Alcantara)

Comments

Oh, for God's sake.  Just how many secret prehistoric lands is the Southern hemisphere bogarting, anyway?  C'mon, under-siders!  Swing a few glyptodons our way!

Seriously, those things are cute!

Basically, it's a sloth inside a Tunnock's teacake

Fascinating presumed-extinct mammals aside, this is something of a family reunion for Warren.  First of all, his parents visit the mansion.  Warren's father is certainly interesting, a man with the kind of social ill grace that only the very rich can get away with.  His nominal acceptance of his son's mutation certainly doesn't stretch to him being comfortable with the wings being out on display, and his reaction to Scott's polite welcome is to talk as though he wasn't there: "Except for sporting sunglasses indoors, I like this one."

They in turn tell him his aunt Mimi - last mentioned giving the team the address of a talking gorilla - has disappeared, causing him to head for Brazil.  Turns out she's been living behind a waterfall in the mammary-gland equivalent of Jurassic Park (Paleogenic Park?) and dressing up like Lara Croft.  She's also been grooming a local girl with tales of Warren's awesomeness, which isn't at all creepy and disturbing.

(Mind you, it's a miracle she got here at all, given that the legendary land she was searching for was apparently behind a waterfall in either South America or Africa.  What the hell kind of legend isn't specific about which side of the Atlantic you're on?)

Of course, if we're talking about family reunions, we should probably mention the flock of birds that starts following Warren as he flies over Brazil, thinking that he must be in charge.  This is probably one of my favourite character beats since I started this blog, as Warren admits that he feels guilty when birds flock to him, since he doesn't really have anywhere to lead them.  It's a small window into his basic confusion as to who he is, what he wants, and where he fits in the world, and it makes his decision to stay in the Land of the Mists at the close of the issue all the more understandable, beyond the place being "full of half-naked hotties".

Oh, and just for the sake of pedantry, there's a small continuity glitch in this issue: Scott tells Warren's parents how nice it is to meet them, despite having met them already in UXM #18.  Attempts to fit this story in before that issue run into the now standard problem of how the students are aware of Cerebro.

Clues

I'd initially assumed that this issue was supposed to run concurrently with issue #11, in which Angel was missing, but apparently not, given there's no mention of the team's battle with Mysterio.  I suppose it's possible that said throwdown happened after Jean and Angel end their cross-continental phone-call, but that wouldn't explain why Cyclops suddenly disappears.

I guess we'll have to assume that either Cyclops' or Angel's absence during the "Continui-Teens" episode will remain a mystery for now.  We might as well leave the timeline as is for now, then, and put the visit of Angel's parents as being the day after Mysterio is defeated.

It's not really clear how quickly the other X-Men arrive to find Warren, but it's clearly at least the next day.  Given the last contact Jean had with him was when he decided to fly full speed at a cliff wall, I'd expect a fairly swift response time, so let's assume that's what happened.  They then spend the night there, and return to the school the next day, meaning the whole story from the arrival of Warren's parents takes place over four days.

Date

Monday 17^th to Thursday 20^th April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+16 to X+Y+19.

Contemporary Events

Jimmy Carter is attacked by a swamp rabbit, in a scene that presumably wasn't anything like Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but I choose to imagine it as such in any case (if only my desktop wasn't at the shop, I'm sure this would have lead to a hi-larious Photoshop picture).
Standout Line

(Bobby waves at the Worthingtons through the window, hoping for an introduction.)

"Who's that?"
"Oh, he's not a student.  He's... the pool boy."
"I didn't think the school had a pool."
"Yeah, he shouldn't even be here."

X1C (v2) #11: "...Canon"

(First-Class Post-Modern?)

Comments

Wait, what?

I really can't decide what to make of this one.  It seems pretty clearly to have been born from the comparatively recent idea that because people love Deadpool, and because Deadpool is as likely to piss against the fourth wall as he is to lean against it, that must mean that anything absurdly self-referential must be a good thing.

Well, maybe it is.  I've never been too sure of that, though.  Much as I love a lot of Deadpool stories, I think they work only because we understand what we're going to get right from the start.  Wade Wilson's adventures should not be read by those without a sense of humour about their love of comics, or who (and consider the source here) take the concept of continuity too seriously.

All of which is fine, so long as it's compartmentalised.  But letting Deadpool lose across the wider Marvel universe (he showed up in Messiah War, for fuck's sake, the most ultra-serious po-faced bloodbath of a story imaginable) has had the effect of forcing pretty much everyone to be pulled out of the narrative, whether they wanted to be or not.

"...Canon" has a similar problem.  At heart, it uses a similar conceit to the She-Hulk stories of the mid noughties, namely that Marvel comics are actually historical documents within the 616 universe.  The "Continui-Teens", as our new friends call themselves, have access to "docoments" from the future, and use them to erase continuity glitches - in this case, those arising from the strange effect the catalysthad upon the nexus of realities within Man-Thing's swamp, which apparently includes allowing Mysterio to create illusions of Marvel villains to use as minions, including those who haven't appeared by the the 1960s.

It's all very funny (well, somewhat chucklesome, at least), and I'm not even slightly against giving die-hard comic fans the occasional good-natured knocking.  I just have something of an aversion to picking up a comic that's determined to remind me that not only are comics not real, but that there's no point in ever investing in them.  That's a little too cynical, even for me.

Clues

This story takes place over the course of a few hours.  The fact that Cyclops is missing at least suggests that this issue is intended to take place more or less at the same time as the last one.  Presumably Cyclops is en route back to the mansion, and the other X-Men have only just recovered from their unfortunate experience with Montezuma's revenge.  Other than Angel, apparently - I guess his spoiled rich-kid system just couldn't handle the strain.

Date

Sunday 16^th April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+15.

Contemporary Events

Alexei Kosygin attempts to combat Soviet economic stagnation by introducing a series of reforms designed to centralise the economy.  These reforms are never fully implemented, and are generally considered a failure.

Standout Line

"THAT DOES NOT EVEN LOOK LIKE THE ULTIMATE NULLIFIER." - "Galactus".

X1C (v2) #10: "Frederick"

(Miner's strike.)

There is, or at least there should be, a rule in fiction writing that states "if your story starts at the end of some other story, make damn sure no-one wishes they were reading that story instead."  I mention this because this issue takes place soon after the team returns from searching for El Chupacabra (the legendary Mexican goat-sucker, as if you didn't know).  This might initially seem like a violation of the above law, but Parker gets away with it, I think, as the team a) doesn't find a monster that interacts with goats in any way, and b) they all drink the local water and get the shits.

Except Cyclops, of course.  Poor ol' Scott gets a fair amount of ribbing in this issue about being so tightly-wound and boring, but if "never drops his guard" translates to "doesn't drink the local water that turns bowels into riot-hoses", I'd say he deserves to be let off.

Either way, this unfortunate turn of events colon-wise leaves Cyclops the only X-Man available when he goes searching for a group of missing people.

I can't decide if this story's refusal to suddenly reveal hidden depths to Cyclops is a comment on how competence is more important than flashiness, or just makes the story a little bit flat.  Nice to see the X-Men (well, one of them) doing their thing of searching out/dealing with new mutants, without a bevy of cameos trying to steal the show.

Also in the plus column, there's a nice layer of ambiguity lightly dusted over Frederick's actions.  Sure, he's abducted several people, but at least some of them genuinely are at least partially responsible for making him a mutant and making his father a corpse.  Their (horribly overstated) argument whilst Cyclops tries to free them makes clear that, even having been kidnapped for the damage they've done, they still have no intention of taking responsibility for the lives they've ruined.  On the other hand, Frederick's definition of "responsible" for his situation is fairly expansive, which means he can't really be cast as a wronged vigilante either (though be honest, who amongst us hasn't thought about taking those who teased us at school and shoving down a disused radiation-soaked mine-shaft?)

That's not to say I don't feel sorry for him, buried alive by a cave-in Cyclops starts as he's leading the prisoners to freedom.  Frederick seems pretty clearly to be mentally ill, and whilst that doesn't excuse his multiple abductions, I'm not sure Cyclops is really sufficiently upset about the first fatality his actions have caused. 

Who knows, though?  Maybe there'll be more on this next issue.  Hell, he might spend the whole of the rest of the series agonising over what he had to do.  It's not like we'd know, is it?

Clues

This story takes place over a single day, but we need to include another day for the mission to Mexico.  The foliage tells us that we're out of winter again, so we'll set this story two days after X1C (v2) #8.

Date

Sunday 16^th April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+15.

Contemporary Events

The aftermath of a 7.0 earthquake which hit Montenegro and Albania.

Standout Line

"What's got four arms, twenty toes, and one personality?  Cyclops and ANYbody else!" - Bobby

X1C (v2) #9: "The New Recruit"

(Fury's Angels.)

Comments

Isn't this getting a little bit ridiculous.  I don't mean a superhero battle in an undersea HYDRA base, obviously, that's just how these comics work.  I mean the fact that this story takes a significant step forwards from the "special guest issue" tendency that already felt a little overused, and essentially marginalises the X-Men within their own book.  For those of us with both an interest in and a reasonably extensive knowledge of the Marvel universe, this maybe isn't too much of a problem, but for semi-casual readers and fans of the X-Men only, it must be kind of baffling to open a copy of X-Men: First Class and find that you've bought a story about SHIELD trying to recruit Wanda Maximof.

Maybe I'm still not getting what this comic is trying to do.  If Parker wanted to put together some kind of anthology series set in the early days of the Heroic Age (the first one, not the post-HAMMER period), that would be interesting in itself.  Piggy-backing one through on the back of the X-Men seems a bit... confused.

Once again, though, on its own terms, this is definitely another fun issue (maybe Parker wanted to focus on an entirely inconsequential romp after the very slightly heavy going of "Adventure into Fear").  It's totally over the top, of course ("Eat Dugan's knuckles!"), but then it's a spy story in which the two competing organisations are called SHIELD and HYDRA, so a certain application of hyperbolics is probably a good idea.  Ass-kicking female spies are always fun, too (shame they only get out alive by the intervention of a rich middle-aged white guy).

Also, without wishing to contradict myself too much, I am beginning to warm to having Wanda around the place as X-Man 5.5.  There's something quite telling in the way Wanda responds to Jean's "cheating" at skating by plunging her into freezing cold water.  Even at this stage, the girl is clearly not entirely right.

Clues

This story takes place over a single day.  Warren mentions his (massively solipsistic) concern that saving Wanda will make her think he's carrying a torch, which places this issue after X1C (v1) #7.  It's also clearly mid-winter, giving the ice-skating scene early in the issue.

We can therefore place this issue in the winter of 1979, which we've previously had to skip in any case (note that this issue confirms that there was well over a year between Jean arriving at the school and the end of Mimic's brief tenure on the team).

Date

Tuesday 2^nd January, 1979.

X-Date

X+277.

Contemporary Events

Morena Baccarin (Firefly, V) is born.

Standout Line

"Wha -- How did you change so fast?" Poor Wanda.  So innocent in the ways of KGB strip-training.

X1C (v2) #8: "Adventure Into Fear"

(Apocalypse later.)

Comments

Into 2008 properly this time, and it's special guest time again!  Double trouble, no less, with both the Man Thing and Curt Conners making appearances.  Actually, having Connors in again is a fun call-back to "The Bird, The Beast, And The Lizard" - I particularly like how nonchalantly he reminds Hank and Warren about that time he nearly ate them.  Ah, memories.

Man-Thing pretty much seems to be here entirely to facilitate the "X-Men glimpse their potential futures" idea, which seems fair enough.  It's certainly a nice idea for a single issue, especially since the nature of the book means that these glimpses of possible fates don't act as teasers (which can get tiring in comics), and just allow the characters to react.  This spectres of the future approach is helped along by Nguyen's pale, shadowy artwork.

As for the visions themselves, they're all quite short, but interesting nevertheless ("Do any of us end up happy and retired?").  Beast gets his first glimpse of his upcoming transformation as they face off against a grey-furred feral Hank somewhere in a snowy forest (kind of a cross between Beast and Wolverine, in that sense).  Jean ends up inside the body of her Phoenix Force-possessed older self, at the conclusion of a Days of Future Past style war (which is kind of interesting giving the hints Bishop's been dropping about how things turn out for Hope).

Bobby's future is perhaps the most interesting, as it finally returns to the only hint of an ongoing storyline First Class has had so far - the Midgard Vanir's interest in Bobby's potential destiny as an Elemental.  In the reality the X-Men visit, this is indeed what has happened to hi, which has required Thor (special guest #3, for those keeping score) to show up and try to deliver a quick Mjolnir-ing to Iceman's sub-zero testicles.  I don't know whether this is a sign that Parker will return to the idea, but it's good to know he hasn't completely forgotten about it.

There's also a brief Heart of Darkness river ride in the middle that seems a bit tangential, but as various enemies from history and myth start to attack, it's definitely fun, and provides the best lines of the issue (see below, also: "Oh, like a winged horse is perfectly natural and I'm all weird!").

Clues

This issue takes place over a single day, and Jean's narration tells us that last issue's rocket launch took place the day before. We also have to set this issue after X1C (v1) #2.  Happily all of that can be done with the timeline we've already built.

Date

Friday 14^th April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+13.

Contemporary Events

Yusufu Lule is sworn in as President of Uganda following Idi Amin's ousting by Tanzanian forces.

Standout Line

X-Men versus Nazi submarine! 

"Das ist kein Deutsches Boot!"
"Die sehen wie Franzosen aus!"

X1C (v2) #7: "The Catalyst: Part 2"

("Have you seen the loneliness of the infinite-distance runner?")

Comments

Eek!  So many Sentinels!  I like the idea that they were programmed to lie low until their numbers reached a sufficiently awesome size.  Seems very mechanical to me (see also Zion, attack on).

I did wonder about the robots attacking the team after they'd been stripped of their powers; this issue immediately deals with that, and the Sentinels move on ("Yeah!  You don't want none! That's right!").  That might have seemed like a bit of a cop-out had I been reading this in monthly installments, but at this pace it seems entirely fair, and pretty logical.

Besides, it allows Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch to be dragged into the story, which is welcome (I'm not a huge fan of them in their early stages, in general, but I like Parker's handling of them).  Short though it was, it was definitely enjoyable to watch a slice of their home life without it tipping into ultra-creep Jeff Loeb Ultimates territory.  Seeing Quicksilver fret about chatting up women whilst he puts away the groceries is exactly the kind of quiet moment that I love.

Then everything explodes, obviously.  This is a comic.

I love the idea that an alien species would try to enhance life, but would have no idea about how that would actually affect the creatures they were working on.  They can understand Cyclops power, and can enhance it to a ludicrous degree, but it doesn't occur to them for one second that fiddling with force beams whilst on a plane is an idiotic idea.  I may be reading too much into this, but it feels at least a little like a deliberate nod to the difficulties inherent in enhancing things you can't understand.  The Outer Limits had a whole episode about this, in which nanites designed to heal people then started giving them jellyfish stingers and quite literal eyes in the back of their heads.  Also, there were tits, obviously.

Also, just for the record, I'm not sure how Angel manages to slow a plane down just by beating his wing's really fast. I can't imagine a thrush trying to pick up a particularly heavy snail thinking "Christ, I wish I was a hummingbird".  On the other hand, Warren healing Pietro with a touch is a nice nod to the "Angel's healing blood" idea Chuck Austen came up with and which was never really spoken of again.  Of course, a more cynical reading of this page is simply that Angel wanted an excuse to feel up Quicksilver's remarkably developed chest, and it luckily turned out he had healing powers. YMMV.

Clues

The action in this issue takes place over a single day.  The launch of the alien creature/machine happens some unspecified time later.

I guess it would take at least a little time to organise another launch. Still, the Marvel Universe has always involved more space travel than our own, even in the "recent past".  Plus, a glowing blob of green energy that can make superhumans unstoppable?  That is exactly the kind of shit you want to be able to launch into space at short notice.  There might just be a rocket standing by at Cape Citadel with the words "HELL NO!" painted on the side, just for such an occurrence.

Let's say they got the launch ready within a few days, and that this two-part story took place over a week.

Date

Saturday 8^th to Thursday 13^th April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+7 to X+Y+12.

Contemporary Events

Idi Amin flees after Kampala is taken by Tanzanian troops.

The la Soufiere volcano erupts in St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Claire Danes are born, and Nino Rota (who composed the music for the first two Godfather films) passes away, aged 67.

Standout Line

"Perhaps... I could say I forgot something and go back.  No, women do not like forgetful men, do they?" Ah, Pietro. If the "former mutant terrorist" thing doesn't prove a problem, you should probably not sweat the small stuff.

X1C (v2) #6: "The Catalyst"

(Baffled beyond the stars)

Comments

(For the record, it seems I was wrong.  This is the first issue of X1C to have 2008 on the cover, but it hit the shelves in 2007). 

Man, it's good to be back reading a comic with momentum.  This is probably one of Parker's less fun romps, in all honesty, but since it involves the team losing their powers that's perhaps unsurprising.  Warren's devastated reaction to losing his wings, in particular, is very nicely done.  All the talk at the start seemed a little too long - and it's difficult to square Xavier's willingness to tell NASA he's a telepath with his usual total secrecy on the subject (maybe he plans to wipe everyone's minds after he's seen their data analysis) - but such is the nature of set-ups I suppose.

Cyclops' use of the the Danger Room is pretty much identical to how Jean-Luc Picard finishes off two Borg drones in First Contact, but since Parker's version of the trick is roughly ten million times less idiotic than Braga/Moore's, I'm content to let it go. [1]

Clues

This issue takes place over two days, which from Bobby's sleepy complaints are a Friday and a Saturday.  The arrival of the Sentinels once more puts us at some point after UXM #18, so we'll start filling up the space between UXM #21 and #22.  There's clearly too much vegetation around for it to be winter, so we'll startthis story on the first Friday in April.

Date

Friday 7^th to Saturday 8^th April, 1979.

X-Date

X+Y+6 to X+Y+7.

Contemporary Events

The PRC joins the IOC.

Standout Line

"I am now entering the comet's coma." A bit of a barren issue quote-wise, so I figured I'd note the line that at least taught me a little something about astronomy.

[1] Seriously, I fucking hate that holodeck scene.  We're supposed to believe that the Borg are capable of developing technological counter-measures to any weapon they've encountered, more or less instantaneously, and we're expected to believe no species in the last three hundred years (at least) has ever tried to hit them with small projectiles launched at high speeds?  That's some bullshit right there.

X1C (v2) #5: "Smash"

("Condition red!  Condition red! It's green! Wait... I mean he's green!  It's red!  The condition is!  Red!  So red! Totally red! OH MY GOD IT'S SO GREEN!")

Comments

I guess three whole issues was long enough without a guest spot, then.

There's really not a lot to be said about this issue; it's basically just all one long fight scene, punctuated by Hulk's "teenage sidekick" Rick making the odd reasonable point.  The Hulk doesn't really seem to be in character, from what little I've read of his adventures during this period (mainly UXM #66), but I can see why Parker made the change - having his wise-cracking teenagers try to beat up something only one stage up from a super-powered green refrigerator might look a bit like bullying.

I can't decide whether Xavier's inability to control the Hulk due to constant interruptions from the military is a sly dig at the army's capacity for getting in its own way, or just a crappy hand-wave to explain why the fight doesn't end more or less immediately.  I have enough faith in Parker to suspect the former, though.

Clues

This story takes place in approximately real time.

Aside from the X-Men's unfamiliarity with the Hulk, which means this issue must take place before UXM #66 (which we'd assume anyway), there's nothing to date this story at all, so we'll stick it into continuity as early as possible.

Date

Sunday 30^th July, 1978.

X-Date

X+121.

Contemporary Events

Ethiopia launches a massive offensive against Eritrean guerrillas during the eighteen year of the Eritrean War of Independence.

Standout Line

"All I ever do is catch X-Men" - Angel.

X1C (v2) #4: "Road Trip"

(Stolen cars and stolen glances.)

Comments

It's another outing for the X-Books' most promising bromance as we're once again reminded that these adventures might as well be entitled "Hank And Bobby Help The X-Men Out Of Charity".  After all, those other losers are clearly just taking up space.  Note how Bobby turns down every offer for a holiday buddy until Hank pipes up?  That shit ain't accidental.

As you might expect from a story about a road trip, most of this issue is a series of vignettes and flashes, which suits Parker's writing very well.  This structure lets him make full use of his sweet and funny dialogue and character beats without his oftentimes fairly simplistic plotting causing problems. 

Sure, the issue climaxes with Hank and Bobby saving people from an unseasonal hurricane, but for the rest of the ride it's Hank driving with his feet, Bobby freezing every mosquito dumb enough to bite him, and the two of them finally opening up to each other. "Is this what the cool kids do?" Hank asks.  "I have no idea what the cool kids do," Bobby replies.  Because jokes about coolness aren't what's needed here, not even from Iceman. Guy-love is in the air.

Oh, and as much as I loved Beast before this issue, his willingness to toss aside his flip-flops and hang upside-down from the ceiling to cheer up a child he accidentally upset increases his awesomeness still further.

Clues

This is a tricksy issue.  I finally remembered to search back through the early posts on the blog to remind myself as to when exactly the X-Men graduated.  I had a feeling that it was earlier than X1C makes out, but I couldn't remember the exact issue.

Turns out it's UXM #7.

That means that in the original Lee run, the X-Men graduated before any of them (save possibly Cyclops) even knew that Cerebro existed.  I think we're going to have to ignore the orignal graduation date if we're going to get anywhere with this title, then.

There's also the matter of Alex (who Bobby refers to as Scott's brother) showing up this issue, despite everyone being surprised when Scott reveals his sibling in UXM #54.  By that point, Xavier is believed dead, and it's pretty tough to imagine this issue taking place after his return (why is Alex just visiting? Where's Lorna?)

Given all of these problems, then, and since Hank mentions that this issue's excursion is markedly superior to their time on Monster Island, we shall follow the standard practice of fitting this issue in somewhere between UXM #18 and #32.  Indeed, Hank states that this adventure happens at a time which "early for hurricane season", which would put it somewhere around May.  Fortunately, due to Roy Thomas' notoriously slack approach to continuity, we have months of spare time between UXM #21 and #22, which includes May 1979.  We'll give them the whole fortnight off, so as to save me having to work out exactly how long it took our intrepid heroes to squeeze in all their activities.

Date

Wednesday 16^th to Wednesday 30^th May, 1979.

X-Date

X + Y + 46 to X + Y + 60.

Contemporary Events

Gay men riot in San Francisco after Dan White receives a five year sentence for the murder of Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk.

Standout Line

The X-Men's greatest foe yet: campsite toilets! "I'll recover through therapy, one day."

X1C (v2) #3: "Island X: Part 2"

("I am sooo stoned!")

Comments

Right.  So this is Monster Island, then.  It did seem a little unlikely that you'd get two such places (Monster Archipelago?), but I'm not sure it was the best idea to revisit the place so soon after the special issue, particularly as it means that either this story has to take place before that issue, or that Jean's dragon must have stolen a fair few of her IQ points as a parting gift.

That complaint out of the way, though, it's another good issue, if somewhat slight.  I had considered the possibility that Mastermind was behind all this somehow - the way last issue both began and ended with his statue on display rather suggested he was going to show up.  The idea that he's been conscious ever since the Stranger petrified him is actually quite unpleasant, but then if there's anyone who doesn't get to complain about his brain being divorced from the outside world, it's Jason Wyngarde.

Clues

This issue begins shortly after the previous one ended, and continues into the following day.  Since, as noted above, this story has to take place before Jean meets her dragon, we'll swap the dates around.  In order to not mess up the timings of the UXM issues, I'll also truncate the time said creature stays with the team by a single day.

Date

Monday 9^th October, 1978.

X-Date

X+192.

Contemporary Events

Standout Line
"GIANT HEAD FIGHT!"
"Go for the cerebellum, Sir!" - Iceman and Beast.